Then and Now

During some down time with God last week he revealed to me just how present he has always been in my life. When I graduated from college two and half years ago I desperately wanted to stay in Chicago. Some of you have heard this story. I was an all-in, flat-out, full-blooded Chicagoan. I loved the beat of the city and the rhythm of my bike tires on the pavement. I loved the freedom of the streets and the ever evolving culture of the neighborhoods. There was a Mediterranean place across the street from my apartment with the best falafel and hummus I’ve ever had. On the other side of the block was Tre K, the Swedish place we went for breakfast with the smoothest cup of coffee. The Brown-line was a few blocks down and standing on those wooden platforms on a clear, crisp day waiting for the vibration of a train against the soles of your feet was near perfection.

But before graduation I spent a free Saturday at a Starbucks praying about the future - about where I should be and when I should be there. I wrote out the options; I read scripture; I watched the people coming in and out. And in the span of a few hours God moved my heart back to Tremont. It was an unbelievable shift. A transformation that only He could bring about. That’s what made it so certain for me. Because it was exactly what I hadn’t wanted, but exactly where I knew I was going.

There were times afterwards when I fought discontentment. Fought so hard I felt sick - thought I was losing my mind. I started working a job I didn’t like. I wrote bland poems about a bland job in a bland town to leak some of the bitterness out of my heart. But I also started working with the youth group at church. And I started praying. A lot. I read Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s biography. I meditated on scripture. And I chose to see the good in my work. God met me right where I was, in the place to which he had brought me. 

I worked at CAT for a year and a half before getting laid off. I applied for Josiah Venture that December. I was accepted. I began support raising.

Now I work at Eli’s waking up early, making coffee, and chatting with customers. I have opportunities almost weekly, sometimes daily, to share about my love of Slovakia and what God is doing over there, how he is transforming people’s lives. Just last week I had a regular customer come in (black coffee in his own mug except on special occasions when he gets a peach latte) and pick up my prayer card and ask how he could help support me. We’d talked about Slovakia before and how he does historical reenactments and how his day was going and what his kid was going to be for Halloween. But this blew me away. Because I would have never come into contact with people like him if I had stayed in Chicago. I would not be where I am today if I had let those grimy streets win out over God’s calling. I look back and see that he knew I would need this community. He knew I would need a church that felt like family. He knew that he could bless me so richly if I followed him. I love where he has brought me, and how he brought me to it. I love seeing the connections - that I get to share his love and his story with my old coworkers from CAT, my old small group, my new small group, my church, my Eli’s coworkers, my customers, my family, and soon with my Slovaks.

What a beautiful journey this is when we let him determine our path. It is not easy, but it is so good. Thank you for bring part of my journey and part of the blessing God has showered on me in my time here. You will all be missed, but not forgotten.